Merry Happy Greetings

OK, now is the time of year when we must choose which phrase to use... do you say "Merry Christmas," "Happy Holidays," or "Season's Greetings?" Or something else? Do you say what you say all the time, or only with certain people? Has it ever gotten you into trouble?

Recently, I became aware of a billboard in my area that proclaims that Jesus misses hearing people say "Merry Christmas". I searched online for the group responsible for this message, and found out that it's a group of bizzy-body ladies in Ohio that grew tired several years ago of businesses using "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" in their advertisements and store decorations. According to their site, 78% of Americans are Christian, and find it offensive if someone doesn't say "Merry Christmas" (instead of "Happy Holidays" or "Season's Greetings" or whatever) to them.

Now, I love Christmas as much as anybody, but I have to tell you, you can't just tell every customer or person you meet to have a Merry Christmas. You don't know what they celebrate, if anything. I've had customers get mad if I said Merry Christmas to them, and I've had customers walk out because I said Happy Holidays. And trying to figure out when to say Happy Hannukah is a minefield. And forget about Kwanzaa, Ramadan, or any of the others. You can't win for trying, no matter what.

I'm gettin' kinda tired of the religious wing-nuts in this country acting like they own the place. Lately, they've been trying to make us think that they're the ones being discriminated against. It doesn't matter if 78% of Americans are Christian (if that's even true...no where on the site could I see a citation for this figure). What about the other 22%? I guess we're supposed to leave them out in the cold, un-holiday-greeted? That doesn't sound very Christian to me.

And what about the blasphemy of putting words into Jesus' mouth?

Say, that reminds me. Many years ago, I saw a real sign at a church with this message on it. I didn't have a camera then, so I have recreated it for you, but the message really was on a church sign somewhere:

The real sign I saw was on one of those flashing arrows, the kind used car lots used to have. And the church was a former store in a strip-mall, I think. I don't remember what the denomination it was. Since then, I keep one of those disposable cameras in my pickup at all times, in case I pass a church sign with a real funny slogan.

Here are some more gems from the same site:

Love ya, hon!